Friend: So, who's your favourite celeb right now?
Me: Reed Kessler.
Friend: Who's that?
Me: The best horse rider I have ever seen. She's only 18 and she's representing USA at the 2012 London Olympics, truly a talented young girl.
Friend: Ugh, horse riders aren't celebrities! They don't count!
Me: Say that again...
Friend: Horse riders aren't celebrities, they don't count.
Police Officer: So you say she just tripped off that cliff?
I’m not saying that at some point love isn’t staying up until 2am phone calls or...– (via blue-melancholy)
boyswanna-be-her: Did you ever think about the term thunder thighs beyond the obvious social implications? Because, like, this is easily THE COOLEST INSULT EVER. It’s the polar opposite of a backhanded compliment. It’s an insult that is actually like saying “YOUR BODY CONTAINS THUNDER”—I mean what a fucking badass thing to have, thunder thighs. Like lightning tits or some shit. Guys, GUISE....
Beijing: we want lights and precision and a good clean night
London: FUCK IT LETS MAKE IT THE SHIRE AND GET FRANK TURNER! AND LETS MAKE THE WHOLE THING VICTORIAN, BRING LOCKHEART TOO ONLY IF HE HAS A TOP HAT, MUSTN'T FORGET JK ROWLING AND BRING MR BEAN TOO ONLY IF YOU DO A CHARIOT OF FIRE MONTAGE. DAMMIT LETS HAVE A SHIT TON OF LIGHTY BEDS AND ABOUT 12 MARY POPPINS, NOW WE MUST MONTAGE BRILLIANT ENGLISH MUSIC AND THROW A SLIGHT TARDIS NOISE TO THROW THE WHOVIANS INTO PANDEMONIUM, ALSO WE MUST QUOTE THE HUNGER GAMES TO TRY AND BRING BACK THE DISTRICTS NOW LETS GET THE QUEEN AND JAMES BOND, OH FUCK IT THROW THEM OUT OF A PLANE, ITS OUR OLYMPICS AND THIS IS WHAT WE SHALL DO WITH IT, YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY
derogatori: chinchillaghosts: wivernryder: chinchillaghosts: heyfunnie: why is bob short for robert how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’? How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”? you ask him nicely
You know whats annoying? When people look at you...
acquiringfit: ahealthythought: AMEN. Omg my life.
Truth is, the TARDIS noise wasn't planned. It's...
youknowyourebritishwhen: WE INVENTED THE INTERNET. BOW DOWN TO BRITAIN.
friend: there's a life outside the internet
me: link me